Dear friends, my heart is heavy but joyful. God willing, on July 1st I will
live in Pensacola, Florida, for the foreseeable future. I already have my
plane ticket, hotel accommodations, utilities scheduled for termination, a
used vehicle purchased in Florida, car insurance, and a positive attitude
moving forward.
The past 20 years of my life have been so cruel and painful, especially the past 7 years I've been ostracized by the Bob Jones University crowd at the Harvest Baptist Church on Guam. My former wife divorced me against my will in 2006. I lost my home. By 2009 my teenage children had grown up and gone their own ways. I was all alone in the big world. I tried to move back by myself to the United States in 2013, but was overwhelmed with loneliness and returned to Guam broken, tired and wearied. I only had one thought in my mind when I came back—I was going to attend Harvest Baptist Church on Guam. They were my only reason for returning. I did just that.
Little did I expect for their school nurse, Kristen, to fall in love with me. I fell in love with her, but was afraid to reach out to her. I made friends in the church and felt loved, and grew spiritually, regaining my emotional strength. After several months I became burdened when I heard the Devil's lie of Lordship Salvation, the Devil's lie of Misunderstood Repentance and saw the Devil's fake Bibles! I decided to be a true friend and as Dr. Tom Ferrell says: “A friend helps a friend to see.” I did just that, but Harvest's pastors rejected THE TRUTH and immediately counted me as their enemy. Galatians 4:16, “Am I therefore become your enemy, because I tell you the truth? They zealously affect you, but not well; yea, they would exclude you, that ye might affect them.”
Sadly, I was driven out of the church by Harvest's pastors, and at the time I was utterly disgusted with them, as they were with me, because I told THE TRUTH. I lost Kris, but thought about her every day. In 2017 I met her at Asan Beach and finally poured my heart out to her. I wrote her and told her that I loved her and wanted to marry her, but she cruelly replied by telling me that I was like a father image to her, and demanded that I never contact her again. I was heart broken. I had also sent her 2 DVD King James Bibles by Alexander Scourby and a special 1922 original Gospel of John from Moody Publishers. It all meant nothing to her.
Kris rejected my love, and me, and I went from being afraid to express my feelings toward her to being terrified to reach out to her. I dared not contact a woman who demanded that I never contact her again. But I have perfect peace in knowing that she rejected me, and not me her. I have it in her own writing that she didn't want me, but she can never point to any place where I said that I didn't want her. Someday she will no doubt settle to marry a bum, but she'll never find a man who loves her like I always will. She could have married a Hyles-Anderson College graduate, who has a fervent soulwinning ministry, to whom God has given a preacher's heart, and most of all someone who genuinely loves her soul.
And so, moving on, in time I fell in love with Abby at Harvest, but unlike Kris, Abby never showed any desire to marry me. Kris used to wait for me in the church parking lot, and come up to me all the time at church, and watchcare meetings. She made a place in my heart. Harvest's pastors are mainly to blame in all of this, for banning me from returning to the church, which was the only church family I knew, where my heart has always been since 2013. Oh how I love them, and will always cherish what little precious time we all spent together as a church family at Harvest! My only crime was CARING too much! I told Pastor Marty Herron that the big difference between me and him is that I CARE a lot more than he does. I CARE about the purity of God's Word. I CARE about the accuracy of the Gospel. I CARE about the true Bible meaning of repentance. I CARE about the little details.
Right doctrine matters! For being faithful to contend for the faith once delivered unto the saints (Jude 1:3), I have lost my church family, two potential wives, all my friends at Harvest, and 7 years of happiness, left alone without my church family. God will judge between me and them. My blood is on all of their hands! Harvest rejected me, I did not reject them. Kristen rejected me, I did not reject her. Abby rejected me, I did not reject her. Pastor Herron, Joe Hansen, Jared Baldwin and Gary Walton have all refused to allow me to attend church services at Harvest, but I've pleaded for the past 7 years since for their love, understanding and a second chance. That second chance never came. I just cannot do this anymore. My life is empty without someone to love, provide, cherish and have and to hold as a companion, a wife. I am not a part of the 'men going their own way' group. No thanks! I still believe in marriage. I still know there are some great women to marry. I know if a man has the right godly attitude, a godly wife will submit to follow.
I have no church family. I apologize to all my web visitors for my ramblings over the past 7 long miserable years. Perhaps God had a hand in all of this (Philippians 2:13), to bring to light and expose the Bob Jones University cult with their damnable doctrine of Lordship Salvation, and their damnable doctrine of Wrong Repentance (aka, turn from your sin to be saved), and their damnable Devil's Bible revisions. I love this great quote:
“Salvation is not our doing, but it is something that the Lord does. We put our trust in Christ, He is the One that saves us. And again I repeat: He rescues us, He ransoms us, He redeems us, He regenerates us. All of that we find out, simply by reading the Bible.” —Pastor Sheldon Smith, Making A Difference radio broadcast; May 14, 2021; 'The Distinguishing Difference in the Christian Life - Part 10'
Pastor Jack Hyles always wisely said that: “To lose something in the will of God is to find something better.” Since I have lost everything as a direct result of TELLING THE TRUTH, I know that God will reward me in the long run. Romans 3:4, “God forbid: yea, let God be true, but every man a liar; as it is written, That thou mightest be justified in thy sayings, and mightest overcome when thou art judged.” I have only TOLD THE TRUTH. If I hadn't TOLD THE TRUTH, Kristen would have married me. I know that. If I hadn't TOLD THE TRUTH, I would have been welcomed at Harvest all these many painful years. I know that. I have great peace in knowing that I am suffering for my faith, and not as an evildoer.
As a grateful graduate of Hyles-Anderson College, I humbly offered in 2017 to voluntarily clean the toilets at Harvest Baptist Church, if I could just be put to use serving the Lord somehow in their ministry, but their ungodly pastors told me to go away. Those are not men of God, but men who serve their own belly for a paycheck (Romans 16:17-18). They sinfully and shamefully persecuted me for my faith...
1st Peter 4:12-14, “Beloved, think it not strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened unto you: But rejoice, inasmuch as ye are partakers of Christ's sufferings; that, when his glory shall be revealed, ye may be glad also with exceeding joy. If ye be reproached for the name of Christ, happy are ye; for the spirit of glory and of God resteth upon you: on their part he is evil spoken of, but on your part he is glorified.”
So anyway, I am finally moving, Lord willing, unless something happens that prevents me from getting on that airplane for a 23 hour total flight. I rejoice that this dark chapter in my life is finally coming to an end. It couldn't come soon enough for me. I know that Florida is just another place, and life is what we make it, but I have a good sense of humor, a positive attitude, and most importantly FAITH IN GOD! I plan to start visiting some Baptist churches in Pensacola right away, and keep my opinions to myself this time. Losing one church family was more than I could bear! I will always love Kris and she will always have a special place in my heart. I sure wish she would have wanted me. And Abby as well. I am not good with people, which is why I never became a pastor. I am a shy guy. I am reserved, private and quiet. God made me who I am, to do the job that He gave me to fulfill (Colossians 4:17; Philippians 1:6).
Pastor Herron and the rest of the rotten bunch at Harvest Baptist Church, and Kris as well, won't be forgiven by the Lord in eternity, because they all refused to forgive me. Matthew 6:14-15, For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” I begged all of them for a second chance, but they rejected me cruelly. All I did was TELL THE TRUTH, and they made me pay for it dearly. There is no love at Harvest Baptist Church on Guam, only religion at it's worst (superficially prosperous in their own sight, but naked and wretched in the Lord's sight - Revelation 3:15-16). God will judge between me and them. They refused to forgive me or let me back into their church family. I died in my heart and have suffered extreme loneliness and depression for the past 7 miserable years because of all of them. What's done is done, the blood is on their hands alone. Oh, how I wish they had all simply loved THE TRUTH. Then they would have loved me, because I came as a humble child of God bearing witness to THE TRUTH.
With the Lord's help, I plan to leave Harvest Baptist Church on Guam behind in my thoughts once I arrive in Pensacola, which is why I am getting this stuff off my chest now, before I leave on July 1st. I don't ever want to write about Harvest again. I need to let go and move on with my life. I really do. It has been so long, draining and inexplicably emotionally painful. Losing Kris was the worst pain I have ever felt in my life, even more than when my former wife divorced me in 2006. I am a passionate man, with deep feelings, and I fall in love with all my heart, which is why I love music so much. I don't know what the future holds, but God is with me. I look forward to going to Pensacola Beach. I walked along the white sand beach in 2018 when I visited and it was very pleasant. I bought a giant assorted seafood platter nearby for $12, which was awesome. The food and cost of living is unbelievably inexpensive in Pensacola compared to Guam! A case of 24 bottles of water for $2.50 in Pensacola costs $17 on Guam. Gas is half price. Rent is also lower.
I felt like a kid in a candy store at Walmart when I visited Pensacola in 2018. I saw baby calf liver (my favorite, rolled and fried in egg and flour), which I wanted to buy and cook, but I didn't have a stove. They don't sell that on Guam. The liver here on Guam is garbage in comparison! When I was in Pensacola, I ate Fried Green Tomatoes. I had never tasted those before. Good stuff Menard! I also ate fried okra. Yummy! I am a very content person. A little bit makes me happy. If God ever blesses me with a wife, I will love and cherish her with all my heart, and thank God every day for a second chance at happiness, and to make her happy, which will make me happy. Right now I just need to stay positive, and move forward. Ever forward, never backward! But regardless of come what may, I intend to keep preaching THE BLOOD (Jesus' liquid blood sprinkled on the heavenly Mercy Seat), THE BOOK (the inspired and infallible King James Bible), THE BODY (the importance of local New Testament churches), and the BLESSED HOPE (Christ's imminent return for the saints at the PreTribulation Rapture). I intend to keep preaching against the cult at Bob Jones University with their Devil's Bibles, Devil's false repentance and Devil's Lordship Salvation. God called me to PREACH!!!
I weighed 178 pounds today. That is great! I was 208 last year. I feel good physically, despite the sensation of burning throughout my nerves all the time. I am losing weight the proper way this time, by eating a healthy low calorie density diet. I have been eating a high protein and fiber diet, which helps to build and maintain muscle and helps me feel full (satiated). I have been working out a little, as much as my neck pain allows. The pain is bad shooting down my right arm at times throughout the day. I love old fashioned oatmeal topped with fresh blackberries, sprinkled with cinnamon. I have cut my carbohydrate intake sharply, which is how I've lost weight fairly quickly. I drink protein shakes every day. So I'm building muscle while losing weight, at the same time.
Fat is also good, like avocado, dark chocolate and nuts (all in moderation). They make me feel full also. Anyway, I plan to find my 6-pack of abs eventually, once I lose enough body fat, and head for the beach with my ukulele. This sure beats stage 4 diabetes! I need a serious break from everything. I am burned out emotionally. I am so tired of being alone. I need someone to love. Right now I just feel like walking away from everything permanently. That is why I need a long break. I won't be answering ANY e-mails for about a year, unless I feel better in months to come. I just can't do this anymore alone. I need a wife. Due to my constant arthritis neck pain, everything is more difficult for me. But I am determined to make the best of the rest of my life. God is so good! I will NEVER place God on trial for the pain, loss, problems and suffering in my life. Everything God does is always right!
I will close on this precious note, lest I write another book. Thank you for putting up with my long rants, by the way. I witnessed to a man this morning while I was exercising. He came up and asked what “John 3:16” means on my hat. I quoted the verse John 3:16 and told him that it was a Bible verse, and then briefly explained what it means. I told the man that Jesus died on the cross to pay for his sins, and was buried, and resurrected three days later. I explained that if he would simply receive Christ's payment on the cross as payment for his sins, God promises to take him to Heaven. The man kindly said that he would consider it. I never pressure people to make a decision for Christ. I explain the Gospel and let them make the choice on their own. Then we parted ways and I prayed for God to help him understand the truths I had just shared with him. That is why I love to wear my “Jesus” and “John 3:16” hat everywhere I go. It sure beats dodging the light glaring off my bald head...lol. I love you all. Please pray for me. I feel overwhelmed right now.
